

Dates: June X - X, 2026
Duration: 5 days / 4 nights Boarding Begins: [Time] on [Date]
Disembarkation: By [Time] on [Date]
Cruise Line: Virgin Atlantic
Departure Port: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Ports of Call: Nassau (Bahamas), Cozumel (Mexico, Grand Cayman (Cayman Islands)
Ummmm, because we’re unleashing our greatest, boldest, most magnetic selves. Together. On a mutherfucking cruise.






Because this is our maiden voyage, you’re receiving a special, invite-only rate for this inaugural experience.
Regular Price
(don't worry — you're not paying this today)
✦ Best Deal ✦
Pay In Full
✦
Save $109 instantly
✦
Bonus: Get the exclusive cougarty satin peignoir
✦
Lifetime access to the Golden Fucks Club ($1800 value)
Payment Plan
Three monthly payments
✦
Flexible option to spread the investment
✦
Lifetime access to the Golden Fucks Club ($1800 value)
NOTE: Retreat tuition does not include your cruise booking. Once you register, you'll receive everything you need to easily book your all-inclusive cruise cabin directly. Estimated cruise cost: $XXX–$XXX depending on your desired room type.

I show up personally with you and a coveted circle of fellow soul-led women to support you in protecting your Golden Fucks and channeling your energy into the next level life you truly desire.
As a founding member of the never-before-released Golden Fucks Club, you receive early access, more personalized attention, and a front row seat in what's about to become a seriously powerful community.
Stay connected to the energy of transformation before we meet IRL, so when we finally do, it'll feel more like a reunion than a room full of strangers.

Spa much?
Get fancy.
Laura brings a rare depth of expertise backed by 15+ years of working
directly with thousands of clients through major life transitions,
She holds 3,000+ hours of energy medicine training, a Bachelor’s in
Holistic Health, and is completing her Master’s and Doctorate in
Natural Medicine. Her background spans Applied Neurology,
We’re capping this retreat at around 30 women to keep the experience intimate, potent, and powerfully held. This is definitely not a convention, it’s a curated vortex for deep transformation and connection.
Boarding typically begins around noon, and the cruise line closes check-in about 1.5 - 2 hours before departure – and they will leave without you, babe. I recommend flying in the evening before Day 1 to allow for smooth sailing (literally), and to avoid any stress from unexpected travel delays.
On the final day, the ship docks early (usually around 7–8AM), and disembarkation happens in waves. You’ll be off the ship by mid-morning and can safely fly out that afternoon.
Full cruise booking instructions and timing details will be sent after registration.
First of all, I’m excited for you because cruises are freaking awesome. Second, you’re not alone. A lot of our women are first-time cruisers, and I only choose cruise lines that create easy, luxe, stress-free experiences.
Think of it less like a “boat” and more like a floating boutique resort. You’ll find beautifully designed spaces, ocean views everywhere, world-class restaurants (with real chefs, not buffets), spa options, and plenty of cozy corners to recharge.
There’s no forced group games, or cruise directors with megaphones. It’s chic, elevated, and made for adults who want a good time without the tacky stereotypes.
Everything is walkable and well-marked, so you won’t feel lost or overwhelmed. You’ll have a daily rhythm of retreat sessions, plus free time to relax, explore, journal, spa, or sip cocktails under the stars.
You are so not the only one wondering this.
Because the ship is so large and well-balanced, you rarely feel much movement at all. When you do, it’s more of a gentle sway, not the jerky or swervy kind of motion that usually triggers nausea. Most guests report that they forget they’re even at sea.
If you’re especially sensitive, you can book a room mid-ship on a lower deck, which tends to be the most stable part of the boat. We’ll walk you through room selection when it’s time to book.
Some people pack motion-sickness wristbands or non-drowsy Dramamine just in case, but chances are, you’ll feel great the entire time.
Still nervous?
Book a chat with me
and we’ll talk through it together.
The cruise line can accommodate most dietary and accessibility needs, and we’ll gather that info from you after registration to make sure you’re fully supported. If you have specific concerns, feel free to reach out before booking.
The retreat tuition and your cruise booking are separate purchases.
Once you register for the retreat, you’ll receive a special link to book your cruise cabin directly through the cruise line (don’t worry – it’s easy, and we’ll guide you through it).
Your cruise will cost between $XXX and $XXX, depending on your room preference. All options are all-inclusive, which means your room, food, and standard beverages are covered – and you’ll get a credit towards some alcoholic or fancy drinks.
We’ve structured it this way to give you full flexibility and transparency, so you can choose the experience that fits your style and your budget.
Yes! You can pay in full or split it into 3 monthly payments. Pay-in-full price is
$2,222 (hello, angel numbers) or you can choose 3 monthly payments of $777.
Because of the intimate nature of this retreat and the limited spots, all sales are final and non-refundable. However, your spot can be transferred to another approved attendee if you can no longer come. Bottom line: trust your “yes,” and commit fully.
Note: We cannot guarantee refunds from any accommodations you book with the cruise line or airlines.
Nope, and that’s the whole point. This is sacred, in-person-only magic. If you’re feeling the pull, trust it. This container is for the women who show up.
Have you ever known something so deeply that you wish you could just insert that truth into the hearts of everyone you know and love? That’s how passionately I feel about what becomes possible when you step into full alignment with who you were designed to be.
If I could wave a magic wand and have every woman on this planet understand one thing, it would be this:
Every single part of the life you want is tied to living your true self. Your relationships. Your career. Your health. Your money. The best of it all becomes magnetized to you when you know exactly who you are, and act accordingly.
And you will.
After this *actually* transformational, fun-as-fuck 5-day experience, you’ll walk away with that clarity, power, and alignment so you can BE the person you are deeply here to be.

That’s totally normal, and its exactly why I offer Decision Alignment Sessions. If you’re feeling the pull but need clarity, let’s talk it through together.


