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BECOMING

A Caribbean Retreat Experience

You're literally at the mid-life of your heroine's journey.

What story are you telling?

Heal your spiritual

burnout

Rewire your

wealth

Reclaim who you

really are

As Featured In

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YOUR MYTHIC VOYAGE AWAITS

They call (peri)menopause "the change."

I call it the BECOMING.

If you are ready to become the most feral & fuck-free version of yourself, then listen:

Join me and a group of kindred cougars on the transformational journey your soul has been craving.

Not a basic yoga-lite

wellness getaway

No one-size-fits-all

framework

Awkward woo culture

not included

We're serving straight magic without the cringe in a personalized experience tailored

to your unique energetic blueprint, so you can expect real transformation on the deepest level of identity.

The voyage to your lit-the-fuck-up life begins aboard a luxury cruise ship.

WHEN

Dates: June X - X, 2026

Duration: 5 days / 4 nights
Boarding Begins: [Time] on [Date]

Disembarkation: By [Time] on [Date]

WHERE

Cruise Line: Virgin Atlantic

Departure Port: Fort Lauderdale, FL

Ports of Call: Nassau (Bahamas), Cozumel (Mexico, Grand Cayman (Cayman Islands)

WHY

Ummmm, because we’re unleashing our greatest, boldest, most magnetic selves. Together. On a mutherfucking cruise.

What To Expect

This is the Sacred Shit that
Changes Everything

Your Mythic & Legendary Rewrite

You’ll re-map your chart through its highest expression, experience a five-element energy expansion, and rewrite your life as a heroine’s journey. Craft the story of your greatest life IN REAL TIME.

The Besties You Haven't Met Yet

You will lock in your transformation surrounded by other badass women who get it. Because when you’re in a circle of women who are rising too – your transformation amplifies.

Decoding Your Past Narrative

You’ll uncover the story you have been living – not in the old ways you’ve done a million times in journaling or therapy – but by unveiling the hidden subconscious codes identified in your personal chart.

Your Sacred Initiation

Whether you are already pretty familiar with your human design chart or this is the first you’re hearing of it, we’re diving into your design so you’ll understand why you’ve always felt the way you do.

This is the moment you choose you.

Because this is our maiden voyage, you’re receiving a special, invite-only rate for this inaugural experience.

Regular Price

$3,900

(don't worry — you're not paying this today)

✦ Best Deal ✦

Pay In Full

$2,222

Save $109 instantly

Bonus: Get the exclusive cougarty satin peignoir

Lifetime access to the Golden Fucks Club ($1800 value)

Payment Plan

3 × $777

Three monthly payments

Flexible option to spread the investment

Lifetime access to the Golden Fucks Club ($1800 value)

NOTE: Retreat tuition does not include your cruise booking. Once you register, you'll receive everything you need to easily book your all-inclusive cruise cabin directly. Estimated cruise cost: $XXX–$XXX depending on your desired room type.

BONUS!

Your fucks are precious. No more giving 'em out like candy.

Introducing. . .

For this retreat ONLY:

Once your spot at the retreat is reserved, you will be added to the Golden Fucks Club – a monthly coaching circle designed to keep you aligned, lit-up, and in forward motion.

Direct Access to Me

Twice a Month

I show up personally with you and a coveted circle of fellow soul-led women to support you in protecting your Golden Fucks and channeling your energy into the next level life you truly desire.

Early VIP Access & FREE

Lifetime Membership

As a founding member of the never-before-released Golden Fucks Club, you receive early access, more personalized attention, and a front row seat in what's about to become a seriously powerful community.

Connect with Your

Fellow Retreat C-sters

Stay connected to the energy of transformation before we meet IRL, so when we finally do, it'll feel more like a reunion than a room full of strangers.

The Golden Fucks Club is valued at $150/month - that's $1,800 per year.


As a founding Golden Fucks Cougar, you get LIFETIME access for FREE.


Do the math. Then pack your robe. JK you'll get a robe on the cruise.

PLUS! I have more optional BONUSES for you, babe.

Fast Action Bonus

Spa much?

The first 10 people to book the retreat will receive a thermal spa suite package! You get unlimited use throughout your entire cruise of the hydrotherapy pool, sauna, steam room, salt room, mud room, heated marble loungers, and hot and cold plunge pools.

Pay-in Full Bonus

Get fancy.

Pay in full and get a $109 discount, plus your own gorgeous, badass, cougarty satin peignoir. (Yes, it’s technically a robe, but we fancy, so we’re going with peignoir.) This is a $120 value, but honestly – you can’t buy it, it’s not for sale, and no one else has it. So yeah… it’s priceless. And awesome.

MEET YOUR GUIDE

Laura Cardwell

Your devoted alchemist of joy and purpose

Laura brings a rare depth of expertise backed by 15+ years of working

directly with thousands of clients through major life transitions,

identity shifts, burnout recovery, and personal reinvention.

She is the author of Unstuck Yourself, and her work has influenced individuals across industries and life stages.

She holds 3,000+ hours of energy medicine training, a Bachelor’s in

Holistic Health, and is completing her Master’s and Doctorate in

Natural Medicine. Her background spans Applied Neurology,

Energetic Kinesiology, and Quantum Human Design Transformational Coaching, giving her an unusually comprehensive foundation in the blend of science, energy, psychology, and embodiment.

"When you’re ready to claim the life you’re meant for, the

path appears."

TRANSFORMATIONS

Women Who Claimed It

You May Be Wondering...

How many people will be there? +


We’re capping this retreat at around 30 women to keep the experience intimate, potent, and powerfully held. This is definitely not a convention, it’s a curated vortex for deep transformation and connection.

When should I plan to arrive and leave? +


Boarding typically begins around noon, and the cruise line closes check-in about 1.5 - 2 hours before departure – and they will leave without you, babe. I recommend flying in the evening before Day 1 to allow for smooth sailing (literally), and to avoid any stress from unexpected travel delays.

On the final day, the ship docks early (usually around 7–8AM), and disembarkation happens in waves. You’ll be off the ship by mid-morning and can safely fly out that afternoon.

Full cruise booking instructions and timing details will be sent after registration.

I’ve never been on a cruise before. What should I expect? +


First of all, I’m excited for you because cruises are freaking awesome. Second, you’re not alone. A lot of our women are first-time cruisers, and I only choose cruise lines that create easy, luxe, stress-free experiences.

Think of it less like a “boat” and more like a floating boutique resort. You’ll find beautifully designed spaces, ocean views everywhere, world-class restaurants (with real chefs, not buffets), spa options, and plenty of cozy corners to recharge.

There’s no forced group games, or cruise directors with megaphones. It’s chic, elevated, and made for adults who want a good time without the tacky stereotypes.

Everything is walkable and well-marked, so you won’t feel lost or overwhelmed. You’ll have a daily rhythm of retreat sessions, plus free time to relax, explore, journal, spa, or sip cocktails under the stars.

What if I get sea sick and barf? +


You are so not the only one wondering this.

Because the ship is so large and well-balanced, you rarely feel much movement at all. When you do, it’s more of a gentle sway, not the jerky or swervy kind of motion that usually triggers nausea. Most guests report that they forget they’re even at sea.

If you’re especially sensitive, you can book a room mid-ship on a lower deck, which tends to be the most stable part of the boat. We’ll walk you through room selection when it’s time to book.

Some people pack motion-sickness wristbands or non-drowsy Dramamine just in case, but chances are, you’ll feel great the entire time.

Still nervous? Book a chat with me and we’ll talk through it together.

What if I have food allergies or accessibility needs? +


The cruise line can accommodate most dietary and accessibility needs, and we’ll gather that info from you after registration to make sure you’re fully supported. If you have specific concerns, feel free to reach out before booking.

Are accommodations included? +


The retreat tuition and your cruise booking are separate purchases.

Once you register for the retreat, you’ll receive a special link to book your cruise cabin directly through the cruise line (don’t worry – it’s easy, and we’ll guide you through it).

Your cruise will cost between $XXX and $XXX, depending on your room preference. All options are all-inclusive, which means your room, food, and standard beverages are covered – and you’ll get a credit towards some alcoholic or fancy drinks.

We’ve structured it this way to give you full flexibility and transparency, so you can choose the experience that fits your style and your budget.

Is there a payment plan? +


Yes! You can pay in full or split it into 3 monthly payments. Pay-in-full price is
$2,222 (hello, angel numbers) or you can choose 3 monthly payments of $777.

What is the cancellation policy? +


Because of the intimate nature of this retreat and the limited spots, all sales are final and non-refundable. However, your spot can be transferred to another approved attendee if you can no longer come. Bottom line: trust your “yes,” and commit fully.

Note: We cannot guarantee refunds from any accommodations you book with the cruise line or airlines.

Will this be recorded or streamed for people who can’t attend? +


Nope, and that’s the whole point. This is sacred, in-person-only magic. If you’re feeling the pull, trust it. This container is for the women who show up.

How do I know this will be worth it for me? +


Have you ever known something so deeply that you wish you could just insert that truth into the hearts of everyone you know and love? That’s how passionately I feel about what becomes possible when you step into full alignment with who you were designed to be.

If I could wave a magic wand and have every woman on this planet understand one thing, it would be this:

Every single part of the life you want is tied to living your true self. Your relationships. Your career. Your health. Your money. The best of it all becomes magnetized to you when you know exactly who you are, and act accordingly.

And you will.

After this *actually* transformational, fun-as-fuck 5-day experience, you’ll walk away with that clarity, power, and alignment so you can BE the person you are deeply here to be.

Still have questions or not sure this is for you?

That’s totally normal, and its exactly why I offer Decision Alignment Sessions. If you’re feeling the pull but need clarity, let’s talk it through together.

THE NEXT ERA YOU
IS CALLING

You're already going through the change. Let's make it fucking count.

Lasting Clarity

True Alignment

Real Results

BECOMING RETREAT

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